


It started out with a trip (working title, will be changed)

by greenwings



Category: Actor RPF, British Actor RPF
Genre: Africa, Drug Addiction, Drugs, F/M, Guinea, Unicef trip
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-28
Updated: 2013-03-09
Packaged: 2017-11-27 08:34:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/659946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenwings/pseuds/greenwings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tom travels to Guinea to do some charity business.<br/>Sapphire couldn't imagine anything worse and would like to be elsewhere instead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story I just started a week ago. It was inspired by Toms Trip to Guinea and is not at all a travel account. I know why he is down there and what he actually does but this is a work of fiction and I hope you’ll like it :)  
> I also don’t know Tom and I have never met him. This applies to all the other real people in here as well, which may or may not occure.
> 
> Also, this is my first attempt at writing after a 4 year break. So have mercy on me! ;) Please...

_**Sapphire** _

I started packing tonight.

My plane was set to leave at 5 am the next day and I started packing tonight, like 5 Minutes ago. Why? Because I always did everything as late as I possibly could. Especially if it was something I absolutely hated to do. Like homework or, in this case, packing my suitcase. I didn’t even like where I was going, so I wasn’t necessarily thrilled about everything in connection to this trip.

It wasn’t even a vacation! No it was some kind of punishment, thought about by my Mom and Dad … and the social worker!

It’s not easy being the misfit of the family. It never is, but this family is especially hard to handle.

My Dad’s a doctor and my Mom a writer.

He’s got a whole team under him and she writes novels and an advice column in the paper. Certain things are expected from you when you have parents like that. Not the things I did though.

“Are you going to bring me back a souvenir from your trip?” My little brother stands in the doorway and watches me throwing things in my suitcase. “Sure little munchkin.” I just said lightly without thinking of the consequences. Don’t get me wrong I love him, but… “Really? Great. What? ” I rolled my eyes, this wasn’t about to end any time soon now. I tried to ignore his nagging and continued packing, but after five minutes I gave up in the thought of finishing with him being here, so I said: “How about…Malaria?” Jayden gave me a puzzled look, then smiled and screamed full of joy: “Yes! I’ll get a souvenir! I’ll get Malaria. Mom! Sapphire is going to bring me back Malaria from her trip!” He was running down the stairs, nearly stumbling as he couldn’t contain his excitement over my promise. Jayden was four, how was he supposed to know what Malaria was?! Mom obviously knew though, so to keep more trouble away I closed the door, put my headphones on and finished packing for the “vacation” I didn’t ask for. Not one bit.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter number 2 already as well because they are both kinda short.

  _ **Tom**_

I started packing as soon as I found out.

Unicef wanted me to accompany them on a trip! I still couldn’t believe it. In the course of the week I had put things in and out my suitcase for a million times. Now, a few hours before the flight, I had everything spread out on the floor in front of me. I went through my mental checklist and ticked of all the thing I already had. “Clothes, running clothes, IPod, headphones, book, mobile, sun glasses…” “Tom would you like a glass of wine as well?”, my little sister Emma called from the kitchen. I stopped in my tracks and joined her. “Yes please. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight anyway.” “You have to. The flight is long and you will be tired once you get there.” Emma poured the wine into two glasses and handed me one. “You really are beaming Tom.” “I know. I have been waiting for so long to do this and finally I have some time off so I can engage in other things than being really busy with work.” I really was glad about the break in my schedule, I needed it. After wrapping up with “Thor” and finishing other smaller projects I was glad I finally got to use my fame for something like this. Just a few minutes ago I submitted little videos to my fans, which Emma and I made earlier this evening. Maybe they would share the excitement as well and help?

I wondered if they all were as thrilled as me. Absently I stared into the wine and shook it a little. My smile grew bigger again, as the little waves in the liquid reminded me of the waves in the Channel, which I would be crossing soon again. One could think that flying all over the world was nothing special for me anymore, but it was. I am thankful for each day I, whenever I get to experience something new and meet new interesting people. I didn’t doubt for a second that there would be tons of interesting people to meet in the next couple of day on my trip.

“Tom? Tom!” My sister voice awoke me from the day dream again. I looked at her and she had her glass raised, smiling at me. “To you and your trip!” she said and clinked our glasses together. “To doing what you love.” I said and took a sip of the wine, then I put it aside. “Will you stay here tonight or take a taxi home?” I asked her. “I think I’ll stay, lock it all tomorrow morning after you left.” “Okay, yes sounds good to me.” I said again absent minded.

Emma smiled at me like you would smiles at a little kid waiting on Santa Claus. She knew my mind was inbetween two things right now. So she went on with whatever she was doing in my kitchen and I took the wine with me into the living room. Standing there, surrounded by the things I realized I hadn’t yet packed pictures of my family. So I went to the shelf and took out a nice family photograph we took over Christmas. It really had all of us on there: Mum, Dad, Sarah, Emma and me. We had all met for dinner and then taken the picture. After all we still were a family. I smiled at it and decided this was the picture I would take. Carefully I tugged it between my clothes. “I’m going to miss you…” I said more to the picture and myself but Emma must have heard it anyways. “It’s not that long Tom, although you make it sound like a lifetime.” I laughed at her and shrugged my shoulders. “I know but I also can’t shake this feeling.” “What feeling?” “That this trip is going to be different, it’s going to change some things.” Emma laughed at me now. “Doth you foresee dark events Mister Hiddleston?” she mocked and now it was my turn to laugh again. I threw one of the towels at her but she dodged it.

With a smile on my face I finished packing.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter number 3 is longer now and we get a little bit more information this time.  
> I hope you'll like it. :)

_**Sapphire** _

“Flight to Conakry now boarding! I repeat: The Flight to Conakry is now boarding on gate 23.”, the voice on the speakers said. I rolled my eyes, for the millionth time this morning. Actually it was still in the middle of the night for any normal human being. Mom smiled at me and smoothed down the collar of my jacket. “You’ll see it will be better than you now think it is.” “I seriously doubt that Mom. It’s something I didn’t want from the beginning and you know it.” “Saph it’s going to help you get better, even the social worker said so.”

I sighed, there was no use in arguing with my Mother once she had made up her mind. I was just the same way and I knew it. My Dad sometimes had a hard time with two strong minded women in the house. Although both of my parents had a hard time with me but that was old news.

I’m sure they sometimes wonder how I ended up where I was now: an addicted college dropout with 25. Truth is, I don’t even know myself.

The most of my memories concerning college still are blurry. Everything started out promising. I was a good student all the way through High School, even after we moved to England and I had to start making new friends and building a new life. My teenage years were so unusual normal Mom and I joked about it. I ended up getting a scholarship to university and I took the opportunity.

Education in England is very expensive so I would have been a fool not to. Besides that, I really wanted to study. I wanted to be a writer like my Mom or a singer because I loved and still love music. The term kicked off and everything went smoothly but then…

“Sapphire hurry!” I heard my Mom yelling from almost all the way across the hall. Disoriented I look around, stuff like this happens when I don’t get my fix. The thought of more of this made me sick again. As fast as I could I dropped my bag and ran over to a trashcan. Holding my hair back I just let it all out. “There goes the breakfast bagel” I thought. As soon as I was fully conscious again I heard Mom running over to me. “Sweetie are you okay?” Instead of saying anything I just shoved her away, picked up my things and continued towards the gate.

I hated the look she gave me every time she caught me vomiting!

What did she expect of all this? Having her little girl back in a snap? Surely not. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted that. The lady announced my flight for the last time and it was my turn to go through security. I turned around, a blank look on my face and tried a smile. “Bye Mom, I see you soon.”

Looking at her in that moment should have hurt, but it didn’t. I just watched her crying silently and as she gave me a good bye hug I didn’t reply it. I’m also pretty sure she said something about missing me and being good and that all is going to be better soon, I just had to try. I didn’t hear her though. The blood was rushing in my head, louder than everything else. I needed my fix but of course I couldn’t get it. I was wise enough to know how drugs on the plane were going to end. For a moment last night though I actually contemplated which solution would be better: Africa or jail.

So I left my Mom standing there and made my way into the plane. The good byes at home went about the same. Jayden was tired as I tugged him in and told him I’ll be back soon and for my Dad, I hardly talk to him at all.

The plane wasn’t a big one, I mean it was a direct flight to that city in the middle of nowhere and I couldn’t imagine anyone ever wanting to go there on their own free will. Oh boy was I wrong! The cabin was already somewhat crowded and behind me there were even more people coming. Most of them with the blue Unicef shirts they sent all the participants. I left mine at home. I didn’t want to be here and I surely didn’t want anyone thinking that I liked this not even for one second!

When your parents have money they can set up a trip for you that everybody else would die for just as a punishment.

I looked on my ticket and felt the sickness creeping up on me again as the letters and numbers on the paper became blurry. Breathing deep was the key. I tried stopping the drugs before but I got weak. Nevertheless I had developed some tricks. This time I also didn’t have another choice but to pull through. So I closed my eyes and counted down from 10, slowly.

10…9…8…7… I panicked, I couldn’t even stand 4 short seconds with myself. Gasping for air I continued to my seat. Looking up at the numbers of the aisles I ran into something, or someone so to say. Taken aback by the sudden contact with another human being I stepped a few steps back and looked at the guy I just ran into. “I’m sorry.” , he said in a British accent. I wondered why I even noticed it. After all we were in London and I was the one that stuck out with the American accent. “I didn’t mean to…” The guy kept going and I gave him a puzzled look. Why was he apologizing? I was the one who ran into him! I didn’t say anything though, just rolled my eyes, passed him and kept looking for my seat. What a weird guy, but people are weird. No, people are stupid. Finally I found my spot.

“I hate people!” , was what I murmured as I sunk into the cushions. I’ve hated them ever since college. I even stopped talking to most of them. Social interaction was just performed if it was really necessary and right now I was glad I had a window seat.

Trusting people got hard after my sophomore year. After I met Travis. The cool boy with a band, thy boy who didn’t worry, the boy with tons of friends, the love of my life. At least that’s what I thought at this time. Although my brain can’t recall most of what happened from that time on it surprisingly recalls all my firsts.

My first time meeting him, my first gig being backstage, my first time I drank so much alcohol I passed out, my first time smoking weed and so many other firsts after that.

Sometimes I like to imagine I remember the moment when I felt myself slipping away, but I’m sure it’s wishful thinking. Because if I actually had felt it my life would be different right now.

Being with Travis had been like living on a race track. But life with him was perfect and without him empty so I didn’t care. Our friends used to say we were the typical Bonnie and Clyde couple. I thought it was more like Sid and Nancy towards the end.

The nice gullible scholarship girl and the wild rock star, I was doomed from the first time I laid eyes on him and I couldn’t care less. I was 21 barely legal in the US and I was in love. Travis and me, we couldn’t get enough from each other. We did everything together and especially I did everything for him. Skipping school, playing music, doing drugs, are just some of the things that I sometimes remember. I even got a tattoo for him.

What I remember the clearest, every time I think about it, it the crash, the cold hard ground before the blackout.

To be honest, it was the classic situation: him with another girl, my best friend. As stoned as I was I completely freaked out. I threw things at them screamed and then ran away. Back to my dorm, my room. I remember I took a knife and that’s it.

4 Days later I woke up in a hospital with my Mom and my Dad sitting by my bed and with a huge bandage around my left arm. As I realized what I must have done I threw up.

The doctor told me later that my roommate was the one who found me on the floor and called the ambulance.

After they released me I didn’t talk to anyone anymore. I tried to attend classed but could never focus. So I went off the grid for the rest of the term. I put myself under with everything I could get my hands on. What got me back up again was the news of Travis death. He overdosed, what else. I did not even feel sorry nor did I feel any kind of emotion.

Realizing I couldn’t go on like I did or else I would end up like Travis, I started studying again. I wanted to get back on track but it was hard without friends, without being able to trust somebody. So I failed miserably. The last thing I did was checking myself into a hospital, but even that didn’t do the trick for me. So I just went home and stayed there.

That’s how I got here. Because my parents, especially my Dad, were fed up with me. Okay yes, I am sure they were trying to help but I didn’t see how yet.

Lost in my memory I hadn’t even realized that I started scratching the old scar on my arm, where the tattoo used to be. It was bright red already. The sight of it, combined with the already tense nerves made me throw up again. Good thing they had these little bag for airsickness and as the stewardess came to take my full one I requested a couple more already, better safe than sorry.

After the plane had left the ground and the safety instructions were over, I put on my headphones, turned on the music and closed my eyes. The flight was going to be long and I needed sleep.

 

I was woken up by the stewardess touching my shoulder repeatedly. “Miss, we’re about to land. Please wake up.” I just nodded, still drunk with sleep. As I prepared everything for the landing I noticed how bad my hands were shaking and that I was sweating and shivering at the same time.

Typical signs of drug withdrawal. “Perfect, just perfect!” I mumbled and finished packing up my stuff just in time.

I got out of the plane as soon as I could. I needed fresh air, more room, I needed to breath. But what I got was a wall of hot, sticky air and I crashed right into it. My lungs wanted air but it seemed to me like I was breathing water. Pretty annoyed I went to the baggage claim and got my suitcases. Then I followed all the people with Unicef shirts. They sure seemed to come in handy.

So I got to a man holding up a big sign which said: “Unicef UK volunteers”

If I hadn’t been pissed I probably would have laughed but all I could think of right now was breathing and maybe to get something to drink. The guy checked off our names on a list and led us to a bus. I picked a seat next to a young, shy looking girl. Well, I was wrong. She might have been shy looking but she was not shy at all. Immediately she started blabbing and asking question but I made it clear, that I had no intention on talking to her or whatsoever, by putting my headphones back on and turning up the music.

The drive was an hour and a half long and the leader of the group, the guy from the airport, briefed us again with all the things we already knew from the briefing in London. Our tasks, how to behave, what we were actually doing here and so on. Everyone, but me actually seemed genuinely excited about all this. I couldn’t believe it. If I already thought this was a shitty idea back in London it certainly got worse now.

At the camp we were assigned our huts for the next couple of days. My father must have told the supervisor what this trip was about for me, because I got my own tipi and nobody else had one all to themselves. Also it was a rather secluded one. “Well at least I can get something good out of this shit.” I exclaimed as I made my way towards the tipi. In that moment I felt a gaze on me and turned around just to see who was staring. I froze as I recognized the guy I ran into on the plane but turned away again as I met his eyes. His gaze was a mixture of multiple things I couldn’t define: pity, irritation, wondering, warmth, curiosity…

Finally in the safe haven that was my hut, I dropped my things. It had scarce furnishing but enough right now. On the bed which was a mere cot, lay a bottle of water. I opened it in a hurry because I needed it so bad right now. Within a few seconds the bottle was emptied half way. I was calm for the moment and put the bottle down on the table in the room then I lay down. I knew the schedule said that we all had to assemble soon but I didn’t care. I just needed rest and I needed to stop shaking. So I closed my eyes and waited for sleep to take me over.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, another one for today :)  
> Still hope you guys like it. If you got any comments to the thing in general and so forth, just let me know.  
> I am actually pretty curious what you think.  
> A longer chapter as well.

_**Tom** _

I didn’t get a tent or a hut or a tipi like everyone else did, I got a room in the main house of the village where all the permanent Unicef workers lived. It was a really nice room: big with a comfortable bed, a writing desk, big dresser, internet connection, TV and even a mini fridge. There was a door on the other side of the room, probably an adjoining bathroom. I’m sure it was more than all the others who got here today had. Dropping my things on the bed, I wondered if I should be happy or disappointed. These tipis looked pretty neat to me and I would have loved one as well, it would have been enough.

It was probably just part of the celebrity extras, like the taxi I got instead of sharing the bus with the others, or the personal welcome from the camp manager. Seemed like Unicef really wanted to make sure that I liked it here. The thing was I would have liked it even without all the special treatment I received.

After all I really didn’t come here for a vacation or to be able to stay in a five star hotel.

I went over to the window to open up the curtains and in the same moment I had the most wonderful view over a garden and part of the beach that seemed to be part of the little village. Good, I already found a route for running then. With a big smile on my face I opened up the window and let some fresh air in.

It felt good just to breathe right now. The flight had been 7 hours long and although there was no time difference between home and here I was exhausted. I let myself sink into the mattress and sighed. It sure was dangerous to lie here for too long, I felt myself drifting off into sleep. So I jumped back on my feet and checked the schedule they gave me. “I’ve got a good hour left before the assembly.” I said to myself. “Enough time to text everyone and shower.”

So I texted my family and friends about my safe arrival and went on to take a shower.

The water was cool on my skin and I felt refreshed immediately. Closing my eyes, running my fingers through my hair I just stood under in the shower and enjoyed the feeling. Another nice effect was that my tiredness was completely gone now.

The water smelled, tasted and felt different on my skin though. Not that I didn’t realize it before, where I was, but to feel it in something as elementary as water was surprising, even shocking! It felt heavier and tasted salty, in a light way also like iron. I collected some of it in my hands and noticed a reddish tint and the smell of was rusty.

The water pipes were way too old! This water right here would never run through western pipes because it would never pass the standards. I realized how much all the donations were really needed here! The workers could try as hard as they might but if the water was already dirty nothing would be of use.

Suddenly eager just to do something I finished showering and got ready as fast as I could. The moment I got downstairs in the hall I was still very early though. “Is everything alright for you Mister Hiddleston?” someone asked from behind me. I spun around and smiled at a young woman. “Yes of course, everything is wonderful.” “I’m glad. If there is anything missing or something else, anything at all I’m here to help.” She reached out her hand to me: “I’m Joanne.” I took her hand and smiled: “Nice to meet you Joanne, I’m Tom. I’ll make sure to look for you in case of emergencies and so on.” I winked at her and laughed a little. Of course I also knew she knew my name but I was trying to tell her to call me by my first name. she got the hint. “Alright Tom, I’ll leave you to it then. Enjoy the show later.” “Show? What show?” Joanne just winked at me and then I was alone again.

I kept walking around the village for a few more minutes. I almost made my way to the little beach, but then I noticed more and more people returning to the big hall so I just went back with them. By now the place was crowded, beaming with life!

I was about to pick a seat somewhere in the middle of everybody, but one of the instructors saw me and waved at me to sit with him in the front. “Don’t hide from us Tom.” , he said in a light voice. “We have to introduce you to everybody.” I felt a slight smile appear on my lips and nodded. “Okay then.” I did not like to think of myself as special, that’s why I wasn’t particularly keen about the big announcement they were going to make for me. But then again, I was here only because of my status and because of the fans I had. I looked around and smiled. “All the money they donated is going to be well used!” I thought to myself and then the sound of drums filled the air.

It was unexpected, loud and vibrating but all in a good and exciting way. Only a few seconds after the drums kids and teenagers were running towards the stage, on stage.

The moment I saw them I smiled and got curious. Leaning forward in my chair I watched their every move. “Do you like it?” , the camp manager next to asked. “It’s a circus project they are enrolled in, which takes place just a few blocks over.” “They are amazing!” I whispered and kept my eyes on the artists.

The tricks were new and fast paced and daring and simply amazing. Kids and teens in all ages doing this like professionals. I could stop watching, my eyes were clued on the act. Pyramids, jumping around and over each other, dancing, cart wheels… the acrobatics was brilliant. Out of the corner of my eye I saw someone else entering the hall, it was a boy on huge stilts and he juggled! Walking like this he came all the way to the stage, without dropping a thing and without falling. As he reached the front some other kids were holding on to the stilts for stability and the boy loosened the straps so he could get out. What I saw then made my jaw drop: the boy jumped up and did a flip in the air just to land safely on his feed. Everyone was clapping, giving all the acrobats a round applause. They truly deserved it as well. I was amazed by the show and cheerful again.

Then the camp manager rose and got in the front. It was going to be hard to focus after that opening but I knew I had to and probably all the other people in the room felt the same. It got really quiet all of the sudden.

“First of all I’d like to welcome you all here at Conakry! The workers, the volunteers, the doctors…” he glanced over to me. “…and our special guest Mister Thomas Hiddleston.” The man pointed towards me and I felt myself blushing. Yes, that still happened from time to time. Slowly I rose and gave a smile and a wave to everyone. “I’m really honored to be here and I’m looking forward to working with all of you and to explore and most of all, help together.” Then all the others applauded to me and I sat back down.

After that the manager went on about the work Unicef did in general and then on what exactly it was they were doing here. It was a lot of explanation and information but I took it all in. I was like a sponge right now, gathering every little piece of detailed information I could get. I made a mental list of all the things I wanted to see: how they interacted with the community, the hospital work they did, providing food, cleaning the water, education the people, just to name a few of the fields.

After everything important was said and done, some administrative questions were answered and then the meeting was over. “Oh, before I forget!” , another employee called from the side of the room. “All the meals will be served and held here in the hall and dinner will be ready in about an hour. So go take a look around, but don’t go too far!” I smiled because for a moment I had a déjà vu of summer camp.

So, as recommended I took the time to look around some more. Although this time I took one of the officials with me too explain everything to me. I even asked about the beach and if it was okay for me to have my morning runs there. “Sure, as long as you are careful and put on sunscreen and mosquito repellant.” I smiled at him, glad to know everyone was nice around here. I didn’t expect anything else, but to be reassured was even better. It made me feel so welcome and more and more I realized the amazing effect all the donated money was going to have around here. I felt a little proud of the amazing people that were my fans and that made this trip possible for me. Not just a little proud, a lot.

On our tour we came by a playground filled with young children and toddlers. Immediately I felt the big smile on my face again. Kids were a joy to probably most people, so of course to me as well. I loved to just make them smile and see the light in their eyes when they did. I knew I wouldn’t be able to understand them and they would not understand me either, but it didn’t matter.

So I made my way over to the small playground and just sat down on a bench. It wasn’t long until a little boy came over to me. I smiled at him as he took my hand and pulled me towards the swing set. “Do you want me to push you?” I asked him but the little fellow just gave me a puzzled look and sat down on the swing. So I started pushing him. “Somehow just give me a sign when it’s enough, okay?” I tried communicating. The higher the swing went, the more the little guy started screaming, but not of fear it was joy. Then I had the feeling it was enough though so I stopped pushing him for a while. In that moment the boy let go of the strings of the swing and spread his arms. He giggled and said something in his language which I obviously couldn’t speak. It was clear  nevertheless that he imagined flying around. I laughed with him and pushed him a few moments longer until he wanted to do something else. Again, he took my hand and dragged me towards the slide now. He pointed upwards and smiled at me. “Well, you picked the right person for that job.” I said and lifted him up. The moment I let go of him he pushed and down the slide he went. He came running back and pointed again. So we repeated that for a few times and pretty soon there was a line of little children who all wanted me to lift them. I gave each of them a smile as I lifted them up. “Okay, I definitely don’t need another workout today.”

My guide laughed and then pointed at his watch. It was time for dinner. The hour went by fast. So I said good byes to all the children and they waved at me as I left.

At dinner looked wonderful. They had a buffet with all varieties of food, most of it was regional cuisine. It smelled heavenly and I made sure not to take too much of one thing because I wanted to try everything they had. Joanne, the girl from earlier sat next to me and explained the different dishes to me. One of the staff members also walked around, passing out little I.D. tags for everyone. As I got mine I saw  puzzled look on his face. Obviously something was wrong.

“Miss Rogers?” he called out. “Is Sapphire Rogers present?” Nobody answered…


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this is the last one for right now, currently writing on chapter 6. But it won't be long anymore. ;)  
> Promise!

_**Sapphire** _

I was woken up by a sick feeling in my stomach and a loud voice. Somebody was shaking me and yelling at me simultaneously. “Miss Rogers, Miss Rogers!” I slapped the persons hand away from my shoulder and turned around with a growl. “You have to get up!” “No I don’t, I have to lie here and continue dying…” An annoyed sigh escaped the persons mouth and I finally opened my eyes to look at her. “What?” I exclaimed, annoyed as well.

“You missed the assembly and dinner.” I rolled my eyes. “Really? That’s the big deal?” Slowly and shaking I sat up and looked at her. “Yes, that is the “big deal”! We’ve been looking for you for over an hour now! Both, the dinner and the conference before were not optional. You’re in a heap of trouble young lady!” I couldn’t help but laugh. “Sorry, but you sound like my Mom 9 years ago, when I was in my teenage years. The last time I ever heard that sentence!” The employee didn’t look amused at all but I couldn’t keep myself from finding this extremely funny.

“Listen closely Sapphire Rogers: If you keep causing all of us trouble you will be punished! Everyone knows _what_ you are here for, so you better behave! The next time there will be consequences! Now I suggest you go straight to the dining hall and have some of the leftovers from dinner.”, with these words the woman turned around and left my tipi.

I sighed again and put my head in my hands, eyes closed I breathed slowly. It was then, that I noticed the shaking was gone but the feeling of something building a nest in my stomach was still present. It growled as well. “How will I ever be able to eat something if I already feel like hurling!?” I said to myself.

Slowly, but at the same time as fast as I was able to move, I got up, took the water bottle and emptied it. I went through my purse and luckily found some gum. I wished it would have the desired effect, to push back the sickness, but I doubted it. I went on fixing my hair and clothing and then left the little hut.

It had gotten dark outside in the meantime. “How long have I been out?” I checked my cell for the time and at the same time found out that I didn’t have any reception. “Just perfect!” I haven’t even been awake half an hour yet and was already pissed again. It also seemed to get worse with every step I took. I at least had to get my hands on some alcohol if I wanted to feel just a little bit better. I knew better than to hope for that though. They wouldn’t give me any nor tell me where to get some. As I looked up I saw the light coming from the main hall, it was way too bright for my eyes right now. Way too bright for me in general. I felt like a bat being exposed to direct sunlight.

So I couldn’t help it and I couldn’t keep it in. I puked just right there were I was standing, next to some other persons tent although I really couldn’t care less. Of course they came out and called me all kinds of names, but I just gave them the finger, wiped off my mouth and kept walking.

 “Damn withdrawal syndromes!” I coursed myself.

The hall was almost empty at this time. Just some Unicef staff people were still running around, organizing and planning the next few days probably.

I didn’t see food anywhere so I just sat down at one of the long tables and waited. The chick that had woken me up earlier came over with a tray. She put is down in front of me. “That’s all what’s left from tonight, enjoy.” I gave her my most disapproving smile and stared at the contents of the tray. A juice box, some soup, bread and salad. Then I looked around again. Nobody was still eating, everyone was busy. I hated the thought of being the only person to eat. It felt like being a prisoner in exile. Also I got paranoid easily in situations like this, I always believed everyone was watching me how I eat and how much, swallowing chewing… Just the thought of it made me choke already.

“Don’t think about it, just ignore them. They’re not watching you.” I repeated these sentences like a mantra and opened the juice box. Slowly I picked up the spoon and tried the soup. It was still hot an quite good as well. I felt it running down my throat and warming me up. It was 8 at night right now which meant I hadn’t eaten in over 12 hours. So I took advantage of my tummy actually wanting food and began to eat my soup. It was filling but I could not let myself hope to really keep it in tonight. “For right now it’s a start though. One step at a time…” I thought and took a bite of my bread. It tasted amazing, but maybe it was also just me. With drugs in your system all the time, things tend to taste dull or taste like nothing at all. So it was nice to get the sense back, maybe I was overly enthusiastic though, it could just be the withdrawal effect as well. After you throw up a few times in a row pretty much anything tastes good.

While I was eating my dinner I was mentally already back in bed and pledged to myself that tomorrow was going to be better. Not only behavior- and mood-wise but also that I would feel better, that tomorrow would be easier to handle and I would get a grip on myself again.

I was completely lost in my thoughts and almost finished with my soup, as someone sat down right next to me. Letting out a short sigh and rolling my eyes, because I really didn’t want to talk to anybody right now, I turned my head and looked at the person next to me.

“What?” I asked before even really looking and then I froze. It was the guy I’d run into in the plane, the guy that gave me the weird look as I went to my tipi.

I hated him already!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so so so so so sooooo soory guys it took me forever to post this up, but I had exam week :/
> 
> that’s why it is also a short chapter :/ but the next ones will be faster again, promise :) :*
> 
> so now here is chapter number 6 and i hope you’ll like it :D :*

_**Tom** _

I liked her already.

Or let’s rather say I was quite fascinated by her.

After dinner I had stayed in the big hall for a little while longer, to help clean up the mess and to talk to some more of the staff about their amazing work here in Conakry and all over the country.

So after Joanne came back, furiously exclaiming she found the missing girl, I got curious. “She’s such a smartass, thinks she is so fucking special…” Joanne continued her rant while literally throwing the leftovers on a tray. I smiled a little bit at the circumstances. This girl must really be someone if she got Joanne so upset.

So I waited for this Sapphire Rogers to turn up. It took her a while, but finally she walked in and sat down at a table. She was the girl I ran into on the plane! The one that caught my attention earlier as well.

Sapphire looked unsettled, disorientated even. Playing with her hair nervously she didn’t seem to know what to do now. Joanne passed by me like the wind and brought her the food. The young woman examined it very closely it seemed to me. Did she think the workers were set on poisoning her?! I had to laugh a little at that thought. She seemed to have forgotten all about her surroundings, so I moved closer. It felt a little bit impolite to watch so shamelessly but she really was fascinating. Not just by her behavior, also by her looks.

Her long dark hair was wild and tangled around her face. Normally her skin would have had a nice shade of rose but she looked ill so it had a tint of grey to it. I wondered what might have happened to her. The young woman’s cheeks were fallen in and in general she seemed dangerously skinny. You could make out a nice figure nevertheless if you tried. She only had to eat properly then she could be gorgeous. So why didn’t she eat? Even now her bites were small and hesitant. Her lips were full but chapped, her big green eyes seemed empty and blood shot as well. All in all Sapphire looked alarming.

I hadn’t realized I had moved closer and closer. So I sat down beside her to not seem completely creepy. Sapphire obviously hadn’t noticed me before, because she just gave me a disapproving look. Then I saw a strange expression on her face. Was that shock? Did I scare her? “Hey…” I said to her, “…glad you finally made it to supper.” She just furrowed her brows and looked back at her food. “Why do you care?” was all I got as an answer. I couldn’t help but to smile. “Well, you were gone and nobody was able to find you.” “So? Still no explanation why you care.”

She must have had a really horrible day, or else I couldn’t imagine why she would be so hostile. Unnoticed, at least I hoped so, I continued to muster her. Her clothes had seen better days to be honest, but maybe those were just the plane clothes and she hadn’t changed them yet. Long dark jeans and a dark blue sweater. She had to be sweating in that thing! Although I noticed her shaking just now.

“Are you cold?” Honestly I was starting to worry something might be seriously wrong with her. “No, it’s just my allergic reaction to annoying strangers.” Wow! That girl was… I really didn’t have any words for her behavior to be honest. I just stared at her in disbelieve and did not know what to say to this.

Sapphire, who was done eating now, put down her silverware and got up. I gave her a smile and stood up as well. “I’m Tom.” I said casually and extended my hand towards her. She looked at it and shook her head. “Look…” she started but trailed off and sighed loudly. “Just leave me alone, okay!?” She really seemed bothered by me but I couldn’t imagine what I possibly could have done. I literally just talked to her for the first time. “If this is about this morning on the plane, I’m sorry…” Sapphire covered her ears with her hands and shook her head again, like she was trying to get rid of a thought. “Shut up!” was all she said, yelled even, and then she left.

I just stood there, following her with my eyes.

“Don’t bother.” Someone said behind me. Joanne. “It’s not you, she just doesn’t want to be here.” “But how? I mean this is volunteer work, shouldn’t she have known what this is going to be like?” Joanne just gave me a sad smile. “This is not voluntarily for her.”

And with that she also left and for the second time within ten minutes I wore a confused look on my face.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I am back with the story! :D I really hope you’re still interested in it.
> 
> So sorry it took me forever to keep going :( but i had an exam to write and then zero ideas. but lucky me… my girlfriend is always inspiring :D ^^ so it’s not a long chapter but it’s something and I will be submitting faster again. :) :*
> 
> thanks so much still for reading and for sticking with me :**

_**Sapphire** _

__

“What is his deal?” I thought as I left the hall. Everywhere I went, this guy… Tom… was certainly there. Did he do it on purpose? Probably not, it was just really strange.

My original plan of going back to the tipi had changed as I smelled the salty water of the ocean. So I turned right and went looking for a way down to the beach. Get some fresh air in my lungs.

The moment I saw the trail down to the water I started running, stopping only as I was already knee deep in lukewarm Atlantic Ocean. A nice breeze blew from the open sea right in my face. I spread my arms, closed my eyes and smiled. I have always loved the water, the seaside.

Pretty soon the breeze picked up and got chilly. Slowly I left the water and sat down in the sand. Hugging my knees I looked out on the ocean and let my thoughts wander.

I haven’t texted my parents since I got here. Were they worried? Did they care about me or did they just want me to be gone? Jayden certainly was in bed already. Did he miss me? I kind of hoped he did and I kind of hoped he didn’t.

He was still so fragile and didn’t understand what was going on with his sister, so it was probably best he kept thinking of this trip as a vacation I was going on. He was the person I felt guilty for because I was sick. I didn’t want him to see me like this and I always wanted to be a good big sister for him. From the moment I first held him I swore to myself that I would protect my baby brother and I haven’t done a good job so far. He is also the main reason why I want to get better soon, why I am trying for real this time. One day I want to be able to pick him up and swirl him around in the air and tell him that we’re going to an amusement park. I want to have the strength and the money, earned by myself, to do that. To someone else that might be a simple thought, maybe not even worth to be called a dream or a goal, but that what it was for me.

It would be a huge step and I was sure from there on out I could handle myself and the world I am living in again. I could work and draw from that achievement as soon as I got there.

It was still a long way to go though.

I was also trying not to plan farther ahead, not to let my thoughts wander beyond that point in time were I could promise Jayden a hole day for ourselves. Sometimes it happened nevertheless and those were the scary moments when the weight of the future nearly drowned me. In these moments the urge was the hardest to fight. Drugs made me forget certain things and they would make the thoughts and the future disappear with them. I did not want that anymore! I didn’t want to narcotize myself away anymore and I tried hard. The thing with the urge though is, that it doesn’t just simply go away, if you try to ignore it, it grows stronger. Like a monster that feeds off of your will to fight it. A Hydra, one head off, two grow back.

So it was no surprise to anyone that I eventually always caved and got my hands on some drug that would do the job, black me out, kill the monster in me and make me start all over again the next time.

But not today, right now I simply didn’t have anything on me to calm me down and I knew there would not be a single possibility on getting some. I was alone in this fight and I didn’t have a weapon.

I sunk my fingers in the cool sand, grabbed a hand of it and threw it at the air in front of me. The wind blew it elsewhere and some back in my face. “So that’s what you get for being stupid Saph…” I told myself and sighed.

I shivered, for the breeze wasn’t a breeze anymore but a wind now and it was over being chilly and had gotten cold. For a moment I wondered how a place this hot at day time could turn into a freezer once the sun was gone, but then I felt a jacket around me.

Startled I looked around and as I saw that guy again I rolled my eyes at him and shrugged of the jacket. “I don’t need that!” I spat in the most venomous tone I could work up right now.

This Tom seemed to have an endless amount of patience or, if it wasn’t that an equally endless amount of ignorance, for he picked up the jacket and put it around my shoulders again. “Yes you do, you have been shivering hard for the past ten minutes.”, his voice was calm and soothing and he was obviously still completely ignoring the fact that I didn’t want to talk to him or anything.

How long had he been here anyways, how long had I been here first of all?

I entirely lost track of time. Lifting my arm to check on it I realized I didn’t have a watch.

“It’s quarter to ten.” Tom said and as I gave him a disbelieving look he showed he held out his wrist with the watch on it. It was an expensive one, made for running I recognized by the buttons for taking the pulse and heart rate and time. My gaze wandered up his muscled arms to his face and I couldn’t help but wonder why he was here if he could afford a watch like that. “Thanks.” I gave back, still bitter though.

To my surprise he started laughing. “Be careful you don’t break something trying to be friendly.” “Don’t worry I won’t!” I snapped back at him and gave him a sour look. So he got the message, but why did he insist on not following it? Persistent and patient? Why did he follow me here, watched me for a few minutes and gave my his jacket, why did he care?

“I wanted to make sure you were okay.” He said as if he could read my mind. “It’s probably not safe out here at night alone… as a girl…” he added hesitantly.

“So you were nosy.” I declared. Tom furrowed his brows and immediately started to defend himself. “No I honestly was concerned about you, because…” I stopped him with a dismissing wave of my hand and looked back out at the water. “Just don’t.”, was all I said as I stood up and dropped his jacket in his lap. Then I started walking away from him.

“Wait!” He called after me. “Why do you keep leaving?” “Why do you keep following?” “Because…”, he stopped, searching for words. “That’s what I thought.” Tom didn’t say anything else and I started running back to my cabin, for the tears started burning in my eyes and the monster in my stomach was rising again. I felt the shaking and nausea coming back stronger than before and my only way of getting rid of it was either puking out the food I forced into me so hard or sleep. I choose the latter.


End file.
